WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS?

Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me;
I may not lead.
Walk beside me;
And just be my friend.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. Hopefully, they are transformed for the better, forever.

Friendship should be a simple thing. All too often though, people believe that one person has to be the leader and the other must follow. That would make us platoons in a combat situation; not friends.

I guess that happens when we believe we can or should control others. Who am I to control you and vice versa? That’s why there are so many gangs making life rough for kids to enjoy their childhood; that illusive concept called control.

When I was a kid, I was lucky to have a good group of friends. Times were simpler then. Our biggest concern was just having fun together. It could be as simple as sitting in the shade saying, “Whata you wanna do?” “I don’t know, whata you wanna do?” until one of us got an idea. Then we seemed to work as though we were one person towards that final idea.

Even more complex issues, such as team sports went smoothly. Baseball games lasted the entire summer but each day, there would be a new pitcher and there were no arguments. We just got it done and had a good time.

Kids grow into their egos and sometimes push comes to shove but it never meant we weren’t friends; it just was part of the growing process. I don’t live near any of my childhood friends but when I see one of them, we can have a conversation and you’d think we just saw each other yesterday instead of years ago.

When I was in the Army, friendship took a new level I had never thought about before. John, 15:13 was something ingrained in soldiers; Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. I was a medic and I remember times where I did crazy things under fire to save a buddy. I would have died for any one of those I served with and some did die for me.

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17

I guess that’s why soldiers are called, “Bands of Brothers”.

As adults, it becomes tougher. I guess it’s hard to trust people more when we’re older because we’ve lost the ability to be open and honest with one another. Like the chemical reaction; the meeting of two individuals can be bitter or sweet. Most adults avoid the contact because they’ve learned bitterness along the way.

However, the Bible makes the process simple.

A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24

There’s a song made popular by Louis Armstrong called, What a Wonderful World. One line in it says, “I see friends shaking hands, sayin how do you do. They’re really sayin. I love you”. “Love” seems to be a taboo word among friends though. However, didn’t Jesus have something to say about that?

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
John 13:34-33

It should be easy when you think about it. Just think of friendship the way a child does. When you meet someone and the chemistry isn’t bitter, hang out together and get to know them and you have a friend. Don’t try to control them and they will be a friend for life.

There will be tests in the friendship but that should just make it stronger. The shifts of fortune test the reliability of friends. That’s a good thing because a real friend sticks with you in good and bad times.

Wait a minute; isn’t that what love is too? Don’t let it get in your way; love is okay. The mystery of love is that the more you give, the more remains in your heart. Isn’t that odd?

Love ye therefore the stranger: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.
Deuteronomy 10:19

Keep in mind we start out as strangers to each other. Friendship has to start somewhere.