THE LIGHTER SIDE

(These things might not win friends but I like them.)

Fun things to do on an elevator

Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
Meow occasionally.
Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly
Say DING at each floor.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Call out “Group hug” then enforce it.
When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
Draw a square on the floor and announce “That’s my personal space”.

Thought for the day:

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

VISITING PASTOR

The new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card, wrote 'Revelation 3 verse 20' on the back and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3 verse 10.'

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3 verse 20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'

Genesis 3 verse 10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'

Out of the Mouths of Babes

A couple invited some people to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?'

'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.

'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, 'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'