CIVILITY

Everyone that has read my newsletters knows how I like to enjoy the animals in my yard. They follow me around and it used to be just for the treats I feed them but after a while, they just sit with “that old man in their yard”, as they call me.

I’ve been buying their food at a nearby Ace Hardware. They have any seeds or treats I want and the employees are kind to the “old man”. A young lady working at the checkout counter named Julie always offered good conversation and told me about her college classes and anything else going on in her life.

As I left, she always dropped everything to open the door for me because my cart was so full. Then she would page someone and they would come and load up my car and return the cart for me. None of them had to do that but they did, even in busy times.

That little hardware store has been an oasis of civility in an otherwise cruel and uncivil world. Julie left to get married and she is finishing school at Kansas State. The store will go on and I will still shop there but Kansas State will be a better place with her in their midst as they will in time realize.

You might ask why I’m going on about some kid I only knew in passing and that’s a good question. There is something wrong with our country and it has nothing to do with politics or the economy. There is a lack of civility and when I come across a fine example, it sticks out like a flash of neon on a moonless night in the country and I’m compelled to say something..

Personally, I think the lack of civility started when gas stations quit being service stations. Today, nobody says yes sir or ma’am. There is no eye contact and you get the gas yourself, which makes me cringe every time I see some moron with a lit cigarette pumping gas.

Service everywhere became “Self Serve” with no regard for health or safety issues. 99% of employees at any checkout counter never make eye contact or even small talk. It’s a “get it yourself” world and” we don’t care if the door hits you on the way out”

I believe that the root of the problem goes even deeper than a lack of service. Things made a turn for the worse when any mention of God in public became illegal and taboo.

Grade schools quit saying, “One nation under God”. They rewrote history books so the minds of children would never be cluttered with something a small few adults found offensive.

Has anyone noticed also that Phonics was taken out of classrooms in the 60’s? Now it is an expensive computer program that parents buy when their children have reading problems. The Bible used to be used to teach children to read but that’s not allowed now.

When kids use poor grammar and continually misspell or make up words, Oxford accommodates them by changing their dictionary. In their words, they “dummy down” so the kids won’t be clueless. Puhleeze! Gimme a break! (Yes, puhleeze is in the Oxford dictionary and if gimme isn’t it will be.)

I had the misfortune of my children dying. I never had the chance to read anything with them and never got to say prayers and tuck them in at night. There’s no guarantee that I would have been a good dad but I would have prayed for wisdom and given them my best effort.

However, how much could anything I say mean anything in this world? After all, I’m a dinosaur. I was taught to respect my elders but now that I am that elder and handicapped as well, I am continually amazed at rude behavior of children around me. I have had countless encounters with children that literally push me aside, usually in the knees, in public places because they are in a hurry.

I know that if my dad had seen me act like that, he would have made me apologize with eye contact and a proper, “sir or ma’am”. Today, the word ma’am is a dirty word according to Senator Boxer. She publicly berated a General for calling her that even though that is Army protocol. If I was her dad, she would read a Good book and formulate a public apology to the General. She is in a position to influence children after all and she sent a disgusting example with her ignorant behavior.

When government, universities and every other adult down to the preschool teachers influence your children in a negative way, don’t act surprised when kids collectively don’t know and don’t care about civility. They grow up like Senator Boxer. Just like linemen on a football field, you need to clear a path when they have the ball.

Julie told me that she has a good relationship with her dad; it shows. I thought about him and others like him this past Father’s Day. I prayed that God give all of them the wisdom to know they have done well and the world still has a chance to maintain some civility.

When you hold a door open for someone you don’t know and look them in the eye when you say, “sir” or “ma’am”, you find yourself standing taller somehow. You unwittingly passed on a little decency and civility. You will like the feeling and it will get easier each time. Without knowing it, you will have passed something on to the next generation.

Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos.
Will Durant-US historian (1885 - 1981)

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If ye love me, keep my commandments.
John 14:15