THEN AND NOW

My father was born in 1906 and he used to tell me of the struggles of two World Wars and the Great Depression. Most kids roll their eyes when the “Old Man” goes on about the “Good Old Days” but I liked it. He lived through the toughest times in modern history and some of his stories were cool.

In his youth, not everyone could finish school because the family needed the children to work for any extra income. A man never took the day off from work because his job might not be there the next day. Putting a roof over his family’s heads made him a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, a four car garage and a large screen TV just so his kids will not feel ashamed.

He was too young for WWI and too old for WWII and during the Depression he remembered, all too well, the bread lines. In Chicago, Al Capone had soup kitchens in many areas and he saw the man often while in line. In fact, he ran bootleg liquor for Capone’s mob. It was work and it brought money home. Bread and soup are just an expected supplement to a meal now and the kids rarely finish it so they can get to the dessert.

He remembered dirt streets and horse power meant how many horses a man had pulling a wagon and not the size of the engine in a minivan. When my parents were first married, they lived on a farm in Orland Park and they had a picture of him leading a cow into the barn. They even had an outhouse. By the time I came along, I wouldn’t have believed that kind of life existed if it weren’t for a handful of photographs.

Through a chain of events around WWII, he landed a job at a steel heat treating plant. He became a metallurgist and before he retired, he worked at a place that heat treated missiles and ended up working on the Apollo missions. In his day, fathers prayed their sons would follow his footsteps. God answered his prayer because my oldest brother became a very successful metallurgist. Today, fathers are lucky if their kids come home from college long enough to teach them how to program the DVR and the cell phone and the kids end as complete opposites of their Dads by design.

The separation between generations is tough enough but when your Dad is 45 years older it’s even more strained. I do remember, quite fondly though, how our family gathered at the dinner table when he came home from work. When I was still very little, there would be my brothers and sisters, parents and my grandma at the table. Conversations were lively as Pa caught up on family events. Now Dad comes home to a note on the fridge; “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at adult-ed classes and there’s pizza in the fridge”. The gap has widened significantly and may never be crossed again; at least not without prayer.

Prayer used to be a stabilizing factor in any family. It started with giving thanks at meals and ended with bedtime prayers. Today, few people outside of the church even know how to pray. They feel uneasy trying because they’re afraid someone might see them. My paternal grandmother often quoted Proverbs, 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”.

I was never blessed with kids of my own but my siblings were. I know that they remembered well the times at the dinner table because they carried on that tradition dutifully. Their kids grew up well and even though I don’t get to see my nieces and nephews at home with their kids, I believe that they are faithful to that same tradition.

That simple act of sitting down together and telling Dad about the events of their day is the start of that Proverb. Prayer is the step to closing the gap between parents and children. After the dinner, say a simple prayer for your children.

David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in and lay all night upon the ground.
2 Samuel 12:16

Then, in Pa’s day, the father stayed in the waiting room, smoking a pack of Camel’s until the doctor came in to tell him if it was a girl or boy. Now, he would have to wear the gown and mask, learn to breathe and most of all, have the recorder charged up. So why aren’t as many dads today as close to their kids as they once were?

Then, in Pa’s day, fathers had to pass down clothing to their sons out of necessity. Now, a kid wouldn’t touch dad’s clothing if he were sliding down an icicle naked. Test your kids; tell them you’ll drive them and their friends to the mall only if you can escort them inside to the middle of the mall with your favorite retro style clothes on. At least the thought of that will make them behave.

I realize that part of growing up includes a certain amount of freedom from parents but when I watch the news and certain TV shows as well as read the papers, I see the gap widening greatly. Technology and the lack of any World War or Great Depression has been wonderful testament to the tenacity of mankind, but at what cost?

Just as kids drift from parents, our society drifted from God. That gap is also widening. Even if a person makes it into Heaven, they missed chances to help others get there by being embarrassed to pray openly and by saying, “My faith is personal and private”. Faith in God, Our Father should be shared and His praise should be shouted from the highest hilltops. After all, just like any Dad, No matter how far we drift from “Then” He will openly welcome us Home “Now”, just as any dad would.

The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.
Psalms 34:22

I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
Hosea 14:4