THE LIGHTER SIDE

Can't Sleep?

Do you know what an agnostic dyslexic insomniac does?

He stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog!

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Letters to a pastor

Dear Pastor,
I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor,
I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won’t be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago

Dear Pastor,
I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma

Dear Pastor,
I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota

Dear Pastor,
My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don’t think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor,
Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina

Dear Pastor,
I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron

Dear Pastor,
How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston

Good News / Bad News for a Pastor

• Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
• Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of the parsonage.
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• Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
• Bad News: You were on vacation.
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• Good News: Your biggest critic just left your community.
• Bad News: He has been appointed as your conference bishop.
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• Good News: The youth of the church came to your house for a visit.
• Bad News: It was in the middle of the night and they were armed with toilet paper and shaving cream.
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• Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
• Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.